The One Who Smiles His Way In

My 94-year-old mother watches the Milwaukee Brewers with near religious devotion. Her mind's still great, so she could certainly discuss the team with knowledge and memory as sound as anyone's.

But it would be absurd to ask Mom to pinch-hit for the pitchers during the playoffs. She's not quite suited to do that anymore, if she ever was.

That's about like Scott Walker being considered for 45's cabinet as Secretary of the Interior. Sure, he could discuss public lands and national parks, but to run them? That's a head-scratcher. Two questions would make an effective interview: First, do you think science should be utilized to explain climate change; and second, do you think public lands should be sold off to the highest bidder?

If the first answer is no and the second yes, Walker should be off and running. Oh, and he lies quite often, too. That should seal the deal.

The picture taken with 45 the other day is demonstrative. I've rarely seen Walker with a smile that wide. It looks almost genuine. After all, he's accomplished in defeat what he couldn't in victory: a way into the tent in Washington.

I'm quite surprised that Walker hasn't been tapped to replace the enormously incompetent Betsy DuVos as Secretary of Education, what with his infamous stand against Wisconsin's teachers unions with the notorious Act 10, passed in 2011, which made a mockery of collective bargaining rights and eliminated district contracts; his draining of more than $800 million from public education coffers; and cutting a quarter-billion from one of the nation's great university systems to help pay for a pro basketball arena in Milwaukee. But DuVos' stand against Title IX and her disdain for seeing that minority students avoid the lion's share of disciplinary referrals finally might have struck the right note with 45, who has no time for such complications. Blind squirrels do find an acorn or two before winter hits.

Note that this isn't the first time that a Republican Wisconsin governor vaulted from his position into a cabinet post. In 2001, Tommy Thompson, the imperial, four-term poobah who toyed with running for president himself before a couple of bad stumbles deep-sixed his momentum, was asked to join the cabinet of the ever-so-smarmy, election-stealing George W. Bush, who now almost looks good next to the ridiculous 45. He jumped at the chance, believing that he would be Secretary of Transportation, for which he thought he would be far more qualified. But Bush handed that to Norman Mineta--a Democrat, for heaven's sake--and gave Thompson the post at Health and Human Services. He apparently protested and was made to look quite silly for it.

If appointed, Walker would do no such thing. He would keep that dung-eating grin all the way into the first new cabinet meeting, at which he, too, would sing the praises of his new boss with enormous gratitude. He would echo those who believe 45 who can do no wrong though nobody can tell us what he has done right or well or even appropriately (especially the latter).

Thompson did well enough at HHS, but it buried the remainder of his career. He returned to Wisconsin in 2012 to run for the Senate against Tammy Baldwin, who won handily. Walker, who watched that from the governor's mansion, will not allow that kind of crumbling to happen. If nothing else, Walker is the consummate opportunist.

In that, he equals the Mar-A-Lago minion who's been nominated as ambassador to South Africa, and the Faux News analyst who will hold down the now-token position at the U.N. But he has much better chops as a former governor and a reputation as an ersatz choir boy who know his lines and creates the smiling image of hail-fellow-well-met while he destroys you behind closed doors.

Wisconsin Republicans are good at that. There's the grinning Paul Ryan, who helped ruin chances for all but the top 1% of earners nationally with a tax plan that will have us paying off a debt for decades. His sycophancy will be considered infamous in later analyses of how the country went off the deep end. He says he's finished with public office. Don't believe that for a minute.

Then there's Robin Vos, speaker of the state assembly, also considered something of a smiling assassin. He went out of his way to tell Democrats that he didn't think of them as evil, as they thought he was for piloting the bills which undermine democracy in the state by stripping powers away from incoming governor Tony Evers and attorney general Josh Kaul. To which I would reply, if I were there:

• You're lying, because if you weren't then why are you performing this awful subterfuge;
• You must be really scared, since your gerrymandering, which obliterates the meaning of the two-party system in Wisconsin, apparently wasn't enough guarantee of control;
• Well, then deal with it, but you can't because others of your ilk can no longer feel the need to play nice; and/or
• Since you're rumored to be planning to run for governor yourself, thanks for the transparency.

The ultimate killer with kindness, though, is Walker. He calmly, with matter-of-fact style, guides people down the primrose path, as if injustice was the way everybody was thinking, anyhow. It isn't the meanness and anger and grouchiness with which 45 deals with everything--ever hear him laugh?--that deceives; actually, we know that cruelty and lies are coming whenever he's nearby. It's Walker's guile and disingenuousness, hidden behind what looks to be an easy-going, I'm-your-next-door-neighbor pose.

If Walker gets to Washington, he'll utilize that to gain higher status; believe that like you believe your own name. Never is the devil more present, it says elsewhere, than when he appears to be an angel of light.

Be well. I'll see you down the road.


Mister Mark