I'm not sure how or why I got on the mailing list for Hillsdale College in Michigan, a training site for conservative ideologues, but I did. It's probably how I got on so many other sites for charitable organizations: Mailing lists are exchanged and/or bought and sold.
Nevertheless, I could help but open a missive sent to me today. In the height of pretentiousness, Hillsdale wants to make sure that all 4th graders have a copy of the U.S. Constitution.
Of all the driving issues facing us, this is the one they're focusing on? This is how they're driving to raise money?
Within the mailing, of course, was contained a nice, glossy copy of the Constitution. Not like I don't have one: I can haul out any number of books that both list it and explains in minute detail many of its passages--though in a way the patrons of Hillsdale College might not appreciate. On the other hand, I also have, through the Library of America, the commentary of such Founding Fathers as Madison, Hamilton, Jefferson, and John Marshall. Anyone who reads their writings are forced to conclude that though Hillsdale's self-declared patriots are all hyped up about originalism, they've pretty much forgotten, as they choose to forget much of our history (though they consider themselves the masters of it), that it cuts both ways. (More on that below)
Besides that, they've copied, it would appear, a rather primitively written letter to them, presumably by a 4th grader, requesting a copy of the Constitution. Here's the text, replete with spelling and punctuation errors:
Dear Hillsdale, Collge
I am in the 4th grade this year.
I just wanted to ask if I could have a U.S. Constitution.
That would be amazing if you guys could! I also think you guys are amazing. I also think you guys are really nice. (I hope) But I hope you guys also had a good summer! I also hope you are having a great time in college!
I love America. thank you!
Bailey
The letter, supposedly written on a legal pad, is outlined with hearts connected by think blue lines, suggesting the revered national colors (why would it be green, after all). I might be tempted to write Bailey back:
Dear Bailey:
Someone sent me, without asking, the letter you wrote to Hillsdale College (remember that spelling, please), asking for a copy of the Constitution. This can only mean one, or several, of the following:
- That they took out your last name and address in order for them not to be sued;
- That they sincerely believe that 4th graders need a copy of a document that they aren't close to understanding yet but could if they really, really tried, forgetting what they were thinking about when they were 4th graders;
- They believe that your parents are naturally Republican, and that only Republicans are interested in what the Constitution really says and that Democrats never even look at it;
- That they think you'll remember any of this functionally in ten years so that you'll be a loyal American--that is, a true-red Republican;
- That they think that someone is intentionally refusing to let them look at a copy of the Constitution, and if they aren't they want you to think that, as if some teacher thinks it's a subversive document (Have your teacher explain the meaning of "subversive"); and
- That all you need to do is get a copy of it and, upon reading it, you'll naturally know what's in it.
What they really want to do is rile up the Republican base and get it to believe that, somehow, denying 4th graders active access to the Constitution, as if they can't get it anywhere else, is yet another way that liberal educators, especially those in public schools, are masking the real meaning of America from its youth. This, like anything else that's been brought up to frighten parents shell shocked from the pandemic, is complete nonsense and, actually, an active lie.
Please do not ignore, too, the fund-raising aspect of this. Because if people send money to print up copies of the Constitution that it already has--it sent me one, again, without asking if I needed it--it will be able to take that money and spend it on other things that people can't see but naturally go along with. This use of distraction is, by now, part of the Republican playbook.
In other words, your innocent letter has been utilized by a college that either must be yearning for cash or awash in it and wanting to support like-minded candidates for Congress (and, not long from now, for president, as if we didn't know who that was), that it will stop at nothing to pull on the heart strings of what it wishes to call patriots throughout a terribly indoctrinated and intimidated political party to raise yet more bushes of money to unleash yet more misleading political ads like the ones now playing in Wisconsin, just one state west (and south, haven't forgotten the UP) from Hillsdale.
These are not nice people, Bailey, as you had hoped. They are cutthroat politicians posing as reflective educators. They want anything forming a business interest to be dominant in our lives, instead of government regulating it. The Supreme Court, filled with these kinds of people, are about, however, to regulate women's bodies such that they cannot perform birth control on it (I wonder, Bailey, if you're male or female. The name is androgynous (remember to get meaning from the context), so I can't tell. If you're female, though, you'll be growing up in a very hostile and dominating country in which your rights, which many people have fought for, will be badly diminished in many parts of it.). They say that since the Constitution never mentions abortion, the federal government has no right to permit it.
This reasoning takes us back to when Congress established that the 'necessary and proper' clause permitted it to establish a National Bank, backing Hamilton's demand that a national treasury needed a place to put its money, since it had the power to borrow and print money and a need to tax its citizens. The bank isn't mentioned in the Constitution; what gave it the right to establish it, as Jefferson tried to say? Well, the combination of several statements that are already there, said Hamilton. And so the bank was created and of course still exists.
The same reasoning permitted Roe v. Wade to be issued nearly 50 years ago, after the right of privacy had been established even though it isn't mentioned, either, adding that to the 14th Amendment. But as it usually has done now, the Supreme Court wishes to look past that and exclude whatever it feels like excluding without precedent (another word to look up or ask about, which used to be important but no longer is). This is authoritarianism (have your teacher explain that, too) in an official capacity. This will ruin the nation if it continues. These five (at least) bandits keep saying that the law matters, but in fact their actions say that it doesn't--at least, what the law used to be, which is irrelevant in this case but not in others.
So Bailey, I'll bet you never imagined that your letter would cause such an uproar. Rest assured, someone made it up, someone you're likely never to meet. You, too, are a cat's-paw. You, too, have had a well-meaning request turned inside out by shameless, presumptuous, deceiving people.
Reading this may cause someone to presume that a 4th grader couldn't possibly understand the concepts within. But if he or she can truly understand the Constitution, this letter would be a cinch.
Remember this when you get to be 18 years old and can vote, Bailey. Be sure to read your by then well-worn copy of the Constitution many times. If, by then, that actually matters anymore.
Sincerely,
Your Friend (believe this),
Mark
Be well. Be careful. With some luck, I'll see you down the road.
Mister Mark
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