A while back, I wrote a blog telling you that I was getting money, real money, albeit a little at a time, from charitable organizations, the purpose of which was obviously to make me feel guilty and give them much more of my own. I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this regard.
I also said that, instead of sending that money, I would add it all up and tell you how much I'd gained by the end of the year. The final monies have been offered (right up until today), no other mail will arrive, and the books have been balanced.
I made $45.37, three pennies at a time, a nickel, a dime (March of Dimes, mostly, as one could guess), even 50 cents (the highest amounts were usually reserved for those entities wanting me to take pity on dogs and horses) or a buck (and got sent stamps, too, which I counted as 58 cents). Not bad. Not quite a full tank of gas, but a nice dinner if I should want to treat myself.
I'm not. I'm not going to steal away with someone's charity that's in fact something of a ruse. I'm going to give it away, in fact, to one of my favorite charities, the St. Jude Children's Hospital. Very soon, whenever they decide to solicit me again--which won't be long, trust me--they'll get a check for $45.37.
I don't usually consider it anybody's business to know what charity I like to contribute to. But then, I don't know Jeff Bezos' subjects of mercy, either, and that's none of my business as well.
As with Bezos, remember, this was not theft. This was unsolicited nudging, if you will, Did it work? Did these charities convince me to open my wallet? Nope.
It's not because I've never done it or that I won't in the future. I'm not rich and never will be, but it's clear to see that a whole bunch of folks need a whole bunch of money. But it doesn't feel pure, doesn't feel entirely genuine, for me to give somebody their money back, in actuality.
Back in the Oughts, when I was on the NEA Executive Committee and the recipient of a nice stipend each year (which made me feel slightly rich), I opened my wallet and gave a great deal more than I'd ever had before--or since. The deluge of solicitations that have followed has been a follow-up to that, of course, because these people don't know that that faucet has been shut off, or rather, I've had to shut it off or else I couldn't eat.
In a way, I don't blame them. But if in a calendar year, someone doesn't respond, it's a good bet that they've moved on. Once you open that door, though, it's pretty tough to close it. And if you send someone even ten bucks, they don't go away. Quite the opposite. You hear from them even more often.
Offering little bits of money feels like the ultimate in desperation. Some charitable organizations offer three pennies, then if you don't send them anything, come back with a dime. It feels like someone's gone fishing, and they think you're looking at that hook for better bait. It doesn't feel, well, very charitable.
But it would take work to get back to them with the ultimate break-up letter, particularly because any communication indicates attention, and might very well bring down on you another deluge. Better just to take the envelope and put it in the discard/recycling pile. Not worth any other trouble, time or energy.
So on behalf of St. Jude Children's Hospital, I'd like to thank all the other charities that bothered to bother me with no response. Knowing roughly what will most likely come my way this year, I'll just wait until the end, pick out another charity, and write a check for $45.37 next December 31.
It's not like I don't care, mind you. Like the very rich, I'm going to give someone enough so they're relatively satisfied but not too much to drain my own resources. Altruism, for the rich and non-rich, always has its limits. Happy New Year.
Be well. Be careful. With some luck, I'll see you down the road.
Mister Mark
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